Nobody will make your eyelashes get moist during a “Wrecking Ball” parody like La Vampy does, but the bearded beauty of Chatroulette is trying it. The lost Kardashian (and the best Kardashian) who made nipples throb with his Chatroulette performance of “Call Me Maybe” is back to entertain users with his sultry moves and furry sex appeal. If you only focus on the right side of the screen, it looks like a scene from The Hobbit porn parody. It’s pure, raw emotional SEX.
And I feel like Chatroulette is a total fantasy land, because people have told me that every time they go all they get are close-up shots of dicks. So when I went for the first time, I was expecting a whole lot of peen and maybe a lip-synching bearded beauty here and there. But all I got was a group of chicks running away from the screen for dear life. I don’t know if me being naked, covered in Crisco and ready to go had anything to do with that or not.