Hot Slut Of The Day!

November 25, 2013 / Posted by:

The giant ginger pussy who stole the show and outperformed all the hos at the American Music Awards last night.

Because Miley Cyrus wanted all of last night’s and this morning’s headlines to be “MILEY FLASHES HER TWANGY PUSSY AT THE AMAS,” she yodeled out that “Wrecking Ball” song at the AMAs while standing in front of a giant Tumblr dream (or Tumblr nightmare depending on who you ask). The giant clip art pussy lip-synched for its life, displayed true emotion through its 16-bit eyes and cried out diamonds when Miley fake cried. If you haven’t seen this mess yet, prepare your ears before you press play and try to focus on the floating space pussy instead of Miley’s low-rent Susan Powter impersonation.

Yes, this is cultural internet cat appropriation, but that pussy delivered a much more theatrical and emotionally raw performance than Miley ever could. Miley is an internet troll come to life, but for once I can’t hate her for it, because I’d rather stare at a lip-synching pussy than stare at Miley’s chipmunk pussy getting oppressed by those 80s aerobics briefs. Bitch got upstaged by a sad pussy in more ways than one.

Speaking of sad pussies, Billy Ray Cyrus had one on his head last night when he posed on the red carpet with Miley and the extra crispy fingerling potato in a man wig known as Wayne Newton.

Pics: Splash

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