Miley Cyrus’ name hasn’t dropped out of the internet’s mouth for about a minute, so in order to get hos talking about her again, she grabbed a box of Sally Hansen stache bleach, smeared it all over her brows and waited until she looked like an albino leopard gecko on Oxy and meth. (SPOILER ALERT: The albino leopard gecko works the “no brows” look better.)
Both Lily Allen and Miranda Kerr did Miley’s dirty work for her by Instagramming pictures of them next to her looking like a pimple on a bleached anus. Miley bleached her brows for a photo shoot and you can let your retinas know that they can stop hyperventilating, because the shoot wasn’t with Uncle Terry. Although, I have heard that a quick way to get the “no brows” look is to let Uncle Terry bust a cottage cheese cum load on your face. Your brow hairs will jump ship before the first drop leaves his peen slit. Other symptoms of getting an Uncle Terry facial include the permanent loss of eyesight, dignity and the ability to stop heaving.
Being a major fan of eyebrows and all the beauty they bring, I’m not usually into the Clorox or no brows look, but some have pulled it off beautifully (see: the albino leopard gecko, Voldemort, aliens, that Dragon Tattoo chick (the American one), out-of-drag drag queens and morning cholitas without their brows drawn on yet). But this bitch can’t pull this off. This looks like a still from The Hills Have TONGUES. Bitch looks like some kind of mutant backwoods cave creature that only feeds on meth, dead bats and human organs. Cyst, come and get your daughter.
But on a positive note, at least her brows match her furry, nasty tongue now.
After the jump are pictures of No Browz Miley with Lily Allen and Miranda Kerr.