Because the paparazzi stopped showing up when they texted their exact location for a photo-op, Evan Ross and Asshole Simpson had to go to The Hunger Games: Catching Fire premiere in L.A. to get their picture taken and while they were there reporters asked them about their relationship since what else is there to ask? Well, that’s not true. I’d ask Ashlee if she gets her chin so shiny by polishing it on the hairy bow tie patch on Evan’s chin. But omg! Insider asked Evan and Ashlee about how things are going between them and he said that he can’t wait to deep throat her chin on their wedding night.
“Yeah, she’s the one. It’s amazing. I’m so in love and we’ve got amazing things going on. And we inspire each other.”
Evan said that he foresees them getting married soon. And I can see foresee Papa Joe’s hand playing a little under-the-table grab-ass during Thanksgiving dinner this year.
But what I want to know is, how does Diana Ross feel about her son linking her to that family of messes?
If my son came to me and told me that he’s been sucking stranger dick under a freeway overpass for money to buy meth, I’d tell him that I was proud of him, because instead of stealing from me he’s working for that meth money. That’s being responsible. If my son came to me and told me that he read all the Fifty Shades of Grey books and actually liked them, I’d tell him I was disappointed, but we’ll get through this difficult time together. But if my son came to me and told me he wanted to marry Ashlee Simpson and I’d have to spend holidays with those crazies, I’d disown him, change my number, sell my house, change my face, change my social security number and never talk to him again. If you really want to hurt and get back at your parents, marry a Simpson.
Here’s more of Evan and Ashlee (looking like the fourth runner-up in 1994’s Miss Slovak Republic pageant) last night.