Apparently, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are too busy being stellar human beings to really clue into the backlash of kids following in their actor parents’ footsteps, because Radar is reporting that Maddox Jolie-Pitt may star in a film adaptation of the comic Battling Boy, even though they shot down rumors a few years ago about the same project.
Someone needs to take the time to run all over hell’s half acre to collect the Jolie-Pitts from the four corners of the Earth, sit them down down and tell them the Smith family has effectively gathered up our patience for parent-led stardom, tied it to an Acme rocket and launched it out of the universe. Arguably, there may have been some success with Jaden but if you throw Willow into the mix, he’s pretty much been the Bill Murray to her Chris Elliot if nepotism was the auction in Groundhog Day. Plus, he ended up with a Kardashian which is negative points, right?
Even though Brad has had reservations in the past about putting the child army in movies, that hasn’t stopped Maddox from getting shot in the head in World War Z or Vivienne’s Little House on the Prairie 2.0 run in Maleficent. If they’re going to let any of their kids go into acting, I’m hoping they write a movie for Shiloh called Montenegro Style so once and for all, I can figure out what the fuck that even means.
The article also said that Brad and Maddox’s influence is reflected in the comic, down to some panels where the character’s expression matches some of Mad’s “signature facial expressions”. He’ 12. Don’t all kids that age have the same facial expressions because they hate every fucking thing everybody says and does? Maybe they’re referring to the silent look of terror Maddox gets in his eyes when he sees his mom thumbing through the newest Orphans R Us catalog.