Ageless Goddess Mamie Van Doren Commits A Charitable Act By Posing With The Porn Iguana

November 18, 2013 / Posted by:

On the left is the intergalactic blossom who traveled to earth on an asteroid from Venus and crashed into a diamond mine over 82 years ago, and on the right is the newly free 19-year-old Porn Iguana who is the first ever amphibian to be entirely made up of desperation and siliCON (which is a cheap, non-FDA approved version of Silicone made with various brands of clog removers on a hot plate in a backyard shed somewhere in Van Nuys).

The two elegant and refined peroxide pearls posed next to each other at The Los Angeles Police Protective League Eagle & Badge Foundation’s 12th Anniversary “In The Line Of Duty” Awards on Saturday night. If you didn’t know and I told you that legendary silver screen queen Mamie Van Doren is over 4 times older than the illiterate feminist, you’d probably tell me to switch brains with a turkey since I’ve obviously burnt up whatever is left of my brain. Mamie Van Doren could easily pass for the love child that Courtney Stodden made with an albino angel 19 years ago. The Porn Iguana was truly brave to pose next to an ageless, fresh jewel who makes her look like an expired factory-defected Real Doll.

Mamie is the saint of all saints for graciously posing next to a lesser.

But on a positive note, Courtney has filled her lips with so much filler that her top lip looks like a pair of saggy ass cheeks with a misshapen crack. Having saggy ass cheek lips is a look and it makes sense since shit is always spewing out of her mouth.

Pics: Pacific Coast News, Splash

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