In Germany yesterday, flowers wilted and died, the sky turned black, actual food rotted, milk curdled, babies cried, birds flew into building and virgins went into hiding when the Tim Gun of the Death Eaters, Kunty Karl, and Posh Beckham posed together at the Bambi Awards in Berlin.
There’s really nowhere safe for my eyes to land. They landed on Kunty Karl’s ghoul teeth, but it looks like he’s trying to nibble on what’s left of my charred soul, so I had to block him with the microwaved breakfast sandwich I’m eating for lunch, because he’d never nibble through some carbs even to get to a piece of my soul. Then I took my eyes to Posh’s eyes, but I had to look away, because she’s throwing the same judgmental “I can literally see your ass getting fatter” glare my mom makes when I put a Double Double in my mouth. Nowhere is safe!