Since everything Lindsay Lohan involves herself with ends up turning to shit in a poo version of the Midas touch, it was only a matter of time before she gave up trying to have a career altogether. It seems she has turned to the career choice of every woman pushing 30 with no prospects and more issues than you can shake a bottle of Stoli at- the Instagram pin-up girl (via HuffPo).
Her newest pic brings up so many questions. Did Dina take the picture because the two of them are gross like that? How many times did she have to arrange the sheet to hide the cigarette burns on it? How did someone her age end up with tits that look like outdoor holiday inflatables that have collapsed on themselves? What the hell is on the table in the background because I’m way more interested in that than I am in the main subject of the photo?
You know it took LiLo forever to get ready for this incredibly artistic, poignant shot. She spent hours selecting the perfect Wet N Wild makeup out of her Caboodle and her greasy hair needed to be properly tossed. It’s the crown jewel in a collection that probably included shots of her kneeling on the bed holding shower loofahs over her boobs. Bitches gotta improvise when nobody comes calling to take your picture anymore! Lindsay has already updated her résumé to say she’s a self-employed photographer who loves to work, when anybody with a brain in their head knows a dirty mirror, an iPhone and a BatDad approved declaration of “SELFIE!!” (you know she sounds exactly like that) does not a professional make.
(Photo via Instagram)