I assumed we’d learned all we could from the Lorde vs. Selena Ultimate Feminism Showdown (the lesson: do not trust dumb sheltered young ones to form intelligent thoughts on women’s issues) but I guess Miley Cyrus felt confident enough to throw her hat into the ring and out-“Excuse Me?” both of them. According to The Telegraph, Miley is already picking out twerkin’ shorts for the Wesleyan College ribbon cutting ceremony of The Miley R. Cyrus Hall:
“The 20-year-old singer, who most recently courted controversy by appearing to smoke a joint on stage in Amsterdam, has argued there is a double standard when it comes to men’s and women’s bodies.
No-one minds if a man goes topless on the beach, she said, adding: “So why can’t we?”
She told BBC Radio 1’s Newsbeat: “I feel like I’m one of the biggest feminists in the world because I tell women to not be scared of anything…”
You hear that, Senator Wendy Davis? SITCHO ASS DOWN. We don’t need your weak-ass attempt at blocking abortion legislation; we got Miley, and she’s telling us not to be scared of anything. Whaddup, Malala; you think you’re a feminist for trying to go to school in a place where girls are banned from school? BIG WHOOP. Get back to me when you get into deep feminist shit like going topless at the beach. Listen up women (and womyn), Miley has spoken! Feminism theory can now be condensed down to three little words: Don’t Be Scared! I mean, be worried that in some states your only access to birth control is buying homemade Yasmin from a woman named Bryndelle at the local swap meet, but DON’T BE SCARED!
Miley needs to check herself if she thinks she’s the biggest feminist in the world; bitch please, you aren’t even the biggest feminist to come out of Disney. Miley needs to show fucking respect and bow down to Disney’s Queen B of Feminism, Mrs. Banks from Mary Poppins. Homegirl wanted to vote so badly, she dumped her children with the first stranger who responded to her old timey Craigslist ad. Mrs. Banks was a better singer too (TRUTH).
Here’s more of the Slack-jawed Gloria Steinem dressed like a goth Sorcerers Apprentice Mickey (can someone photoshop Miley wearing that blue hat and send it to me?) at the BAMBI Awards:
(Pics via Wenn)