You Know You Want A Threesome With This

November 13, 2013 / Posted by:

Everybody has woken up next to “what the fuck was I thinking??” before. We’ve rolled over, wiped the please-don’t-let-this-be-jizz crust from our eyes and done a full body shudder at the creature next to us. We’ve gathered our things, shoved our underwear in our pocket, and gotten hell out of there hoping nobody at the office notices we’re wearing the same clothes as yesterday, or that we used the contents of a Splenda packet to brush the taste of strange dick out of our mouths in the corner of the break room.

If you play your slut cards right, you may be able to take coyote ugly to a whole new level and have a threesome with Lady Gaga and Taylor Kinney. In an interview with Howard Stern (via The Daily Mail), Gaga said she’d be open to another woman joining them in the twisted throes of coitus.

“Here’s the thing. I’m not the type of person that’s having sex all the time with lots of random people. I don’t do that. I’m in a monogamous relationship, we’re having a good time, we’ve been together awhile. If it were to come up, it comes up. For me, the connection that I feel is so strong that it’s so much stronger than physical.”

Taylor is almost hot enough for me to throw out a Hunger Games (except in my case it’s the Thirsty Ass Bitch Games) “I volunteer as tribute!“, even with Gaga’s weird ass sitting there wearing a cornucopia filled with vulture feathers, headless Barbie dolls and Taco Bell Fire Sauce packets on her damn head or some shit. Part of me thinks it can’t be worse than getting down to drunk, nasty business with a guy back in the day, asking him if he was getting hot and wanted to take of his sweater, then realizing he was already shirtless but was just that hairy. Humping up on one of her skinned Muppet costumes may be familiar territory after that. I can’t help but wonder if her snatch is lined with red velvet cupcakes in order for Taylor to even put up with her crap or if the “stronger than physical” connection on his part is from the deep, “get money bitch” cockles of his heart.

Here are some pics of Gaga’s at her Sirius XM appearance wearing glasses she stole from Whoopi Goldberg and bunkass Christina Aguilera wig (circa her Lady Marmalade days), wearing a cape made of unicorn farts.

(Photos: Splash)

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