During part 1 of The Real Housewives of Miami reunion on Monday night, Adriana de Moura, who looked like a Latin Endora, kept scratching at her rival Joanna Krupa and said that Brandi Glanville (of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills) told her at an event that Joanna is a home wrecking whore who ruined the marriage of Yolanda Foster (another Real Housewife of Beverly Hills) and Mohamed Hadid (a super creepy real estate mogul who is all over Bravo’s shows). According to Adriana, Joanna’s affair with Mohamed is the reason why Yolanda divorced him. Joanna (or Ho-Anna as Adriana calls her) denied having a bull dozer vagina and denied boning Mohamed. Then right after the reunion, Brandi just so happened to be on Watch What Happens Live (via Radar) and of course this mess was brought up.
Brandi stood by her story and told Andy Cohen that as far as she knows, Joanna did hump on Mohamed while he was married to Yolanda. During the show, Andy got a note from a producer that Joanna just tweeted (and later deleted) to Brandi: “No wonder her husband left her.” Well, when you come for Brandi, she’s going to call you out and say that your twat smells like a Florida Red Lobster dumpster in the middle of August. Brandi queefed this out:
“Well, Mohamed did tell me that her pussy smelled. Just saying. It’s true. I’m not lying. And Lisa Vanderpump was there when he said it. Sorry, bitch. I win!”
And here’s the video of Brandi declaring to the world that Joanna needs vagina deodorant:
That clip right there. It’s like the new definition of feminism.
And you know that shit-stirring shifty Siamese Cat Andy Cohen is going to milk every last drop out of this. He’s going to bring Joanna, Brandi and professional cooch-sniffer Khloe Kardashian on Watch What Happens Live. Then he’s going to make Khloe sniff on Joanna’s chocha and Brandi’s chocha. Whichever chocha makes Khloe howl at the moon, slobber and chomp at the bits will be declared the loser.
And here’s Joanna in a totally natural and not-at-all staged bikini photo-op in her waterfront backyard in Miami. Now I’m not saying that Brandi is telling the truth, but the paps did say that after these pictures were taken, that dog tore its nose off with its paws before throwing itself in the water.