While Miley Cyrus was taking herself up, up and away onstage at the MTV EMAs in Amsterdam last night, Lady CaCa flew to new levels of stupid when she debuted the prototype for her flying dress called “Volantis” at the launch party for her album ARTPOP at the Brooklyn Navy Yard. CaCa’s innovating flying dress is basically just a mannequin’s torso strapped to an Ikea coat stand and six big ass fans rented from Home Depot. But CaCa, being CaCa, farted out some pretentious explanation that will make your rolling eyeballs fly out of their sockets:
“I wanted to make today about something even more important to me, and that something is the youth of the world. Their minds are just so boundless. They’re just so inspiring. Although she is a vehicle,” she said of the dress, “she is essentially a metaphor for me. I will be a vehicle today for their voices.”
Here it is in action and it gives me “flying dildo” vibes (no offense to the flying dildo):
Yes, I levitated higher while playing “light as a feather, stiff as a board” in the 3rd grade, but that flying dress is still an aviation wonder, because it managed to lift CaCa and her 300 ton ego. My question is, when it’s done, will this mess of a flying dress shoot her into space never to be heard from again? Because if the answer is yes, then I have another question: where do I donate to the flying dress project?