Afternoon Crumbs
And let us give thanks to the forever stunning Xtina for keeping the lead paint industry alive and having the strongest eyelids in the world. It takes a buff pair of eyelids to hold up 40 pounds of tar-covered tarantula legs – Lainey Gossip
Happy Fap Til You’re Raw Friday – The Berry
Brendon Urie dabbles in dick sometimes – Towleroad
FYI: Delicately painting Kate Upton’s coochie lips was somebody’s job – The Superficial
Marion Cotillard thinks Chelsea Handler is trash – Celebitchy
Gisele Bundchen saw Daft Punk’s real faces up close is what I’m getting from these pictures – Drunken Stepfather
Selena Gomez’s dress is one quick snip away from revealing Justin Bieber’s favorite breastfeedin’ chichis – Hollywood Tuna
Scott Discik’s mother passed away – Reality Tea
I am only here for the side-eye that January Jones’ kid is throwing – IDLYITW
Professional Instagram selfie model Paulina Gretzky does Maxim – Popoholic
Jennifer Lawrence lost her Oscar – ICYDK
I’m not sure which one’s sucking the life out of the other – Popsugar
Winona Ryder looks glamorously deranged on V Magazine and she took the “deranged” theme all the way when she called Kristen Stewart “incredibly talented” – Just Jared
Avril Lavigne’s ugly ring looks like a heart of piss. That’s about right. – Jezebel
This is NOT one of my favorite things – SOW
The paparazzi are still taking pictures of Hugh Hefner’s old concubine – Moe Jackson
They’re making Jagged Little Pill the musical and if they know what’s good they’ll get Dave Coulier to play himself – Pajiba
B. Coop’s child beard is a mash-up of Taylor Swift and Sienna Miller – I’m Not Obsessed