Presenting The Would-Be Breakout Star Of Twatlight, Chuckesmee!

November 5, 2013 / Posted by:

On the “Twalight Forever: The Complete Saga” DVD set, Nikki Reed and producer Wyck Godfrey talk about and introduce the Renesmee doll that was used during filming until it was replaced with a slightly less terrifying baby made of CGI, because the cast and crew were sick of its face eating their dreams every single night. A real baby was never used, because they wanted Renesmee to look “otherwordly” and I guess the prop department’s definition of “otherwordly” is what sprouts up when you plant the seed of Satan, Bette Davis eyes and a dozen tortured human souls in the red dirt on the Ninth Circle in HAIL. Chuckesmee looks like a meth-addicted, humanized Japanese Chin with FAS.

The crew nicknamed the doll “Chuckesmee” after Chucky from Child’s Play, but Chucky doesn’t have shit on Chuckesmee. If I had to choose between being locked in a room with Chucky and a bunch of knives or Chuckesmee, I’d go with Chucky. At least Chucky would make it quick. Chuckesmee would silently stare into the deepest part of my charred soul and feed off of my fear. It would get stronger with every chatter of my teeth. It would be like being stuck in a dark prison cell with Marie Osmond.

Chuckesmee is even more terrifying when it moves. IT MOVES.

It’s funny that they never say what happened to Chucksmee. Chuckesmee could be hiding at the bottom of your hamper during the day and every night it comes out to eat your exhales as you sleep. Or worse, Chuckesmee could be recording a pop single with Ark Music Factory’s Patrice Wilson right now. For the sake of all of us, I hope it’s the former.

And honestly, the producers made the right decision by dumping Chuckesmee. Nobody would ever believe that Kristen Stewart is Chuckesmee’s mom. Chuckesmee emotes way too many human emotions to be Kristen Stewart’s child.

via Yahoo!

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