The Secret To Blake NotSoLively’s Skinny Body Is Chocolate

November 4, 2013 / Posted by:

Because of course it is.

My guess is that French Vogue would’ve rather interviewed the Styrofoam cup that you chewed on during a boring meeting last week, but they had to interview Blake Lively, because she’s the new face of L’Oreal Paris. French Vogue asked Blake the question that I’m sure every skinny actress gets asked at least once an hour by magazine writers, “You look so slim and sexy! What’s your special diet?” We all know that the answer is, “laser lipo and the BluePrint Cleanse,” but Blake had to be THAT TRICK and say that she’s just naturally skinny. She doesn’t work out regularly, she pretty much eats whatever she wants and she puts chocolate in her mouth twice a day. Here’s the question and answer in French, because Blake’s words look so much more exciting in French.

Suivez-vous un régime particulier ?

“Aucun ! J’ai la chance d’avoir une vie très active, je me dépense en permanence… Du coup, je n’ai besoin ni des services d’un coach, ni de faire très attention à ce que je mange. D’ailleurs, je ne peux pas commencer ma journée sans une tasse de chocolat au lait bien chaud et la finir sans croquer quelques carrés de chocolat bien noir… C’est bon pour mon moral.”

And here’s a rough translation from the NYDN:

Do you follow a special diet?

“No! I’m lucky to have a very active lifestyle, I’m always running around everywhere… So I don’t need to hire a coach or watch what I eat. Besides, I can not start my day without a cup of hot chocolate milk and finish without eating a few squares of dark chocolate. It keeps me feeling happy. “

It’s funny that Blake says she never works out, because ho is married to Ryan Reynolds who lifts weights while he’s taking a caca, because he never wants to miss an opportunity to put muscles on his muscles. But you know, if I was married to Ryan Reynolds, I’d probably be a skinny bitch too, because it would be hard to put food in my mouth when his peen is in there. And yes, I just realized that I followed up a sentence about Ryan Reynolds going caca with a sentence about blow jobs. Nothing ruins a beej more than the scent of dirty ass.

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