So, let’s say I went hiking in the mountains with my chihuahua (because we do that all the time) and I chase after him as he runs into a cave. Let’s also say that when I finally catch up to him, I find him barking at a large block of ice in the back part of the cave. I pull out my chisel (because I carry that all that time) and break the ice to find a caveman who is still alive! I bring the caveman back to my house and after we smoke a bowl and eat the rest of my Halloween candy together, I show him this video from TMZ of noted bar brawler and overall asshole mess Josh Brolin getting into a drunken bro fight with a bouncer before huffing it out. The caveman points at the video and grunts out a stream of grunts that translates into, “That’s how my people handles shit too!” And then we make out.
After a night of dranking at O’Briens Irish Pub in Santa Monica, Josh Brolin was not a happy drunk when the bouncers told him it was time to go home, because they were closing. One of the bouncers was able to get Josh Brolin outside, but since Josh Brolin is an angry drunk, he started to fight with the dude. Josh drunkenly slapped at the bouncer several times and the whole scene is just sad. That fight is even more pathetic than the slap fest that my sister and I got into after she refused to let me play with her Barbie car. (SPOILER ALERT: She won the fight and yes, the fight was last week.)
The bouncer realized that he was partaking in a sad, sloppy fight, so he ended it by telling Josh, “We were just hugging!” The truth is, they never hugged, but the bouncer tricked Josh into believing they did so the fight could end. Josh fell for the trick and hugged it out with the bouncer.
That really is the best.
The world would really be a much better place is we all ended fights with our enemies by tricking their dumb, drunk asses into thinking we were hugging just a few minutes before. Josh is seriously way too old to be bar fighting, but he’s never too old to be getting into hug sessions with bouncers. Make hugs, not drunken punches, Josh.