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Ram Singh Chauhan of Jaipur, India, the man with the longest mustache in the world.

Since 1982, when his mustache was zero years old and he was 27 years old, Ram Singh started his journey to having the Tommy Lee dick of mustaches when his friend, who had a 7 foot long stache, told him that he should grow his out too. From that day on, Ram Singh never took a pair of scissors to his stache and let it grow and grow and grow and grow and grow until it looked like his nose is snorting out two rivers of hair. Ram Singh’s Rapunzel stache measures 14 feet long and in 2010, Guinness World Records officially gave his ass the title of the dude with the stache of all staches.

Ram Singh’s Trans-Canada Highway stache has made him a celebrity in India (India has Ram Singh, we have Kim Kardashian. We’ve done everything wrong.) and he carries it around with pride. I know you’re probably looking at Ram Singh’s stache as a magical beanstalk for all kinds of insects and critters to climb up and live in peace and harmony in the bushiest part of his beard, but he says that he spends 2 hours a day grooming that thing. While some of us get ready by splashing cold water on our pits, pinching our nips so they look perky and spraying our pubes with Electric Youth, Ram Singh shampoo, conditions, combs and prunes his stache every day.

You could have a jump rope tournament with that thing.

You know, I kind of felt sorry for Mrs. Stache until I realized that Ram Singh probably gives a mustache ride that never ends. Before taking that mustache ride, Mrs. Stache has to pack a few Clif Bars, stretch for hours and tell her loved ones that they might not hear from her for a while….

via HuffPo