Blind Items: I Guess, You Guess

October 30, 2013 / Posted by:

Two unfaithful wives. The First Wife is still trying to figure out if she wants to be one. She and her husband have been through a lot the last few years, on both sides. It was before the trouble though when she had an affair with a colleague — still above the line, but with a smaller spotlight, both compared to First Wife and his own wife who’s just as famous too, and should be just as acclaimed. The affair was intense, so intense that First Wife wanted to end her marriage and he was going to end his marriage but then her husband needed her in crisis. So she helped him recover, and as soon as he healed, she fell apart. By the time she got it together, her moment with her lover had passed. He happily reconnected with his own wife (though she has no idea) while First Wife is struggling with what would have been.

As for the Second Wife – everyone’s been speculating about her infidelity recently but they might be focusing on the wrong target. The right target isn’t a billionaire but he’s a pretty successful player too, albeit on a smaller screen. Their involvement led to an award for her, and a divorce for him. She was attracted to him because “he’s the hot geeky type like her husband”. Both insist that they never moved past suggestive texting and heavy flirting and never ended up consummating their attraction. Bullshit. There was at least one night and that’s why she’s so freaked out about the takedown that’s been coming to her. She’d be happy if they stayed on the current scene they’re on so long as she doesn’t get busted for this one.

PS. Everyone mentioned here is a major celebrity. (Lainey Gossip)

The First Wife is Catherine Zeta-Jones? Around the time that Michael Douglas lied to us all when he said that he had throat cancer (he really had tongue cancer), CZJ was directed in a movie by Bart Freundlich. Bart Freundlich is married to Julianne Moore. CZJ boning on Bart Freundlich is kind of hard to believe. If you even think about cheating on ginger goddess Julianne Moore, your peen will fall to the ground, slither to a storm drain and find its way to HELL. CZJ’s snatch probably knew that Michael Douglas was going to lie about having throat cancer and put the blame on it, so it got revenge by getting on another dick.

The second wife is Goopy Paltrow? Exhibit: A. The only major award that Goopy has won since marrying Chris Martin is the Emmy she got for Glee. I don’t think of any those hos on Glee are married, so I’m guessing this blind is talking about a producer whose name isn’t Ryan Murphy.

Expose her, Vanity Fair! But try to expose her before December 25th so Christmas can come early!

At some point I think people should just get divorced rather than to resort to what this married B list celebrity/reality show host puts female guests through. If you are a stripper or escort or just a pick up he is hiding from his A+ list celebrity wife you have to sign a five page confidentiality agreement that is in Spanish and English and is in BOLD print and to sign it before you ever get a chance to meet with the celebrity. Their photo is also taken signing the agreement and stapled to it. He could just have sex with his wife too I suppose. (CDAN)

Mario Lopez’s wife isn’t even hanging on to the Z list, so I’ll guess Nick Cannon?

It is hard to believe that this former A list tweener was once this naive but for almost a year she had no idea her boyfriend was also sleeping with a guy. A much older guy. So there was our tweener about to have a procedure to take care of her pregnancy and her boyfriend who got her pregnant was having sex with an old man. Must have been one heck of a Thanksgiving at her house. (CDAN)

Miley and Justin Gaston? Or Ashlee Simpson, Ryan Cabrera and Papa Joe? And now I need to go and pour Clorox in my eye sockets until the images drown out.

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