Note: I didn’t want to use the gory picture that The Daily Mail used, because NO. Besides, a picture of a scared pussy perfectly expresses my feelings about this messy, tragic tale of lost peen.
26-year-old Yang Hu of Jiaxing, China had a seriously severe case of the sads about moving to a new city and not finding a special lady friend to give his heart and peen to. Yang Hu grew more and more depressed and he figured that since he didn’t have a love life, he really didn’t need a peen. Yang Hu took FOREVER ALONE to horrific levels a couple of days ago when he came home after work and decided that the only way he’ll stop thinking about getting a girlfriend is if he chops his dick off. So he chopped his peen off.
Right after Yang Hu became No Wang Yang by whacking his peen off, he realized an extremely important fact that most dudes probably realize when they whack their peens off: he had no dick. Yang Hu must’ve realized that you can use a peen for many other things (examples: fapping, pissing, drawing eyes on its head and making its slit talk to you when you’re really bored, etc…), because he regretted what he had one. Yang Hu quickly jumped on his bike and rode to the nearest hospital to get his peen re-attached. But he jumped on his bike a little too quickly, because he forgot to bring his peen with him. The hospital told him they needed his chopped-off peen in order to re-attach it to his body and those bitches made him ride his bike back to get it. Yang Hu jumped back on his back and while bleeding, rode back to his house, grabbed his dick and rode back to the hospital. When he got there, doctors told him that his peen had been without blood for too long and they couldn’t re-attach it.
Friends are blaming the hospital, because they say that if doctors sent an ambulance to get Yang Hu’s peen, they might’ve been able to re-attach it in time.
The hell kind of GD crazy, fucked-up doctor looks at a poor man who’s bleeding at the crotch, has no peen, is obviously suffering from a breakdown of some kind and says, “Sorry, no wang, no service!” Those bitches. Send an intern! Send a nurse! Send a helicopter! Send a paramedic! Send a KAYAK! Send anybody but the poor dude who’s bleeding from his crotch. This is like the worst Nurse Jackie episode of all-time.
And you know some motherfucker is reading this story and thinking to himself, “At least he didn’t have to log on the ACA website before going to the hospital.”