In Tori Spelling’s latest memwhys (at book number six I can’t even call it her “memoirs” anymore), she offers up yet another little tidbit out of the “Bitch, who asked you?” pile, saying when she posed for US Weekly after having her fourth baby, she lied about how she lost the weight.
‘For several months, I couldn’t really exercise,’ she writes. ‘There were a couple reasons. First, there was some risk that my scar would open up again. I was terrified of that.
‘Second, I really don’t exercise much, period. So I took my weight the old-fashioned way. I like to call it the Just Keep Your Fucking Mouth Shut and Eat Air diet. It’s all the rage.’
However, when Tori took part in a bikini shoot with Us Weekly magazine, she told them she lost weight through swimming. ‘My publicist had given me clear instructions about what to say about my weight loss,’ she explains.
We can all agree that nobody would mind if Tori took the Just Keep Your Fucking Mouth Shut diet and applied to every other aspect of her life, but that doesn’t pay for a husband’s dicksnip surgery, their lavish sham of a lifestyle or whatever harness she has to wear to keep her whackassed boob job from completely collapsing in on itself. C-sections are no joke and the recovery can be hard, but why lie in the first place? Oh, that’s right- if she half-truths everything as she goes along, she’ll have enough fodder for her 486th book to set the record straight and maybe make enough off sales to send her kids to Pasadena Community College.