Afternoon Crumbs

October 29, 2013 / Posted by:

A group of fat French ladies who are going by the name “Pretty, curvy, sexy and fine with it” (Side note: That’s exactly what’s in John Travolta’s Grindr profile) are suing former fatty Kunty Karl for saying that curvy women don’t belong on the catwalk. If their ridiculous ass lawsuit doesn’t get thrown out and they actually win, then you, I and the rest of humanity will file a class action lawsuit against Kunty Karl, because I’m sure he’s said something cunty about all of us. Dear Choupette Lagerfeld, that canary diamond choker around your neck will soon belong to all of us!  – Jezebel

Selena Gomez is in a bikini and I’m wondering how is it possible that she’s not in a psychiatric center since Justin Bieber has definitely asked her at least once if she wants his “sperm” – Lainey Gossip

“I wanna fill you like a Botox syringe” is probably the only kind of sext that makes Nicole Kidman melt – The Superficial

A strange thing happened in Hollywood last night, Sofia Vergara covered up her titty cleavage. This could mean the end is near, so I better get a backyard shed and keep it stocked with lube, boxed wine, weed and water for my water bong  – Hollywood Tuna

NeNe Leakes, is that you, girl? – Celebitchy

Mick Jagger’s daughter does Uncle Terry. I didn’t mean it like that, but well, that probably happened too – Drunken Stepfather

The Juicy Joe is Fucked Show starts November 19th – Reality Tea

Lynette Scavo’s grown-up ginger twins just made it impossible to fap to them – Towleroad

If Brit Brit’s songs make Somali pirates paddle the other way, then I’m sure Alison Gold’s “Chinese Food” would make them slit their ears off before feeding themselves to sharks – IDLYITW

Ashley Greene goes to CVS with the regular dude she’s doing in between C-listers who will get her blurbs in InTouch WeeklyPopoholic

And yet, that lion hood isn’t the dumbest thing that Tom Brady has had on his head – ICYDK

I watched the entire Star Wars blooper reel and I’m more than disappointed that not once did the cast and crew break down after Chewbacca let out a wookie fart – OMG Blog

Lisa Kudrow admits to getting her schnoz snipped and rotated when she was 16 – The Berry

Kelly Osbourne finally waves the white flag in her war against Lady CaCaJust Jared

Say Something Nice About Tara Reid’s skinny coke bloated body: Well, those Lucite heels are exquisite – Moe Jackson

Beyonce photo bombs a fan – Popsugar

I see your Julianne Hough’s Crazy Eyes costume and raise you something way more tacky – Boy Culture

This baby is going to cry all the tears when she hears her first Adele song – Videogum

A greasy broom and a pinched straw got dressed up for a premiere – I’m Not Obsessed

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