If you’ve ever known a former slut who woke up one day, decided to become a chaste white flower, and aggressively hustle her anti-slut agenda on all remaining sluts, then this will be sure to warm your Sunday morning. In an interview with NPR, Katy Perry is asked about having a lot of younger fans and whether or not she feels she is a role model for them. Instead of pulling a page from former BFF Rihanna’s book and telling them to “chill wit dat” (which, really, is such an all-purpose answer) Katy says she’s not a role model, but an ‘inspiration’:
“Well, I think I like to be an inspiration. I think when you set out to be an artist, first and foremost – a musician, a rock ‘n’ roller – you don’t come with this kind of, like, hey, I also want to be a role model that, obviously, will let you down because I’m a human being. And a lot of people see me as a role model but I’d like to kind of turn that around and say I appreciate that but I’d like to be seen as an inspiration. Because a role model, I think, will fail you. I mean, I couldn’t tell kids when it’s time for them to try things or do things. I mean, that’s not my role. But, you know, it’s funny. I do see myself becoming this, whatever, inspiration out of default right now, ’cause it’s such a strange world. Like females in pop – everybody’s getting naked. I mean, I’ve been naked before but I don’t feel like I have to always get naked to be noticed. But it’s interesting to see…”
Interviewer Scott Simon then asks if she’s referring to anyone in particular (cough – Miley – cough) and instead of responding like a real inspiration would (“Yeah, Miley Cyrus. You need me to spell her name too??”) she answers so vaguely it’s like Scott Simon is talking to a boardwalk fortune teller:
“I’m not talking about anyone in particular. I’m talking about all of them. I mean, it’s like everybody’s so naked. It’s like put it away. We know you’ve got it. I got it too. I’ve taken it off for – I’ve taken it out here and there. And I’m not necessarily judging. I’m just saying sometimes it’s nice to play that card but also it’s nice to play other cards. And I know I have that sexy card in my deck but I don’t always have to use that card. And especially like with this new song called “Unconditionally” that’s on the record.”
“I don’t always have to use that card” – This is coming from the woman who appeared on Sesame Street with her tits out; HOW RICH! It’s easy to play it off like you’re sooo above being sexy because you’re a ‘serious artiste’, but the truth is you’ve discovered a bunch of girls younger and hungrier coming down the stairs after you (Miley, Lorde) and you got scurred. So maybe it is Katy’s time to put away the sexy and retire the chichis? She can replace them with turtlenecks and pyjama jeans and make people really focus on the music (uh oh, this choose-your-own-adventure doesn’t end well).
Honestly though, what the hell is happening in the world of sluts?? First Rashida Jones asks girls to stop acting like whores, and now Katy Perry is telling pop stars to shelve the sexy? If the Slut Dress gives an interview and announces it’s turning into a flannel nightgown, then we need to get Neil deGrasse Tyson on the phone and find out just how bad this sudden imbalance in the universe really is.
(Pic via Esquire)