Besides E!’s camera crew, dozens of hired extras, Jaden Smith, all of the Kartrashians (sans Auntie Bruce), an orchestra, a script supervisor, a team of assistants, a production designer, a costume designer, three fluffers, ten make-up artists, six weave tamers, three body waxers, one anal bleacher and a wookie trainer, Kanye Kardashian’s proposal to Kim Kardashian was intimate and private. It was so intimate and private that they put together a video of the “greatest moments” from their proposal and “leaked” (cut to Ray J’s not-at-all-piss-shy dick smiling a sly smile) it onto the Internet. I would’ve thought that this was the most romantic and genuine proposal ever, but it was hard for me to do that, because I kept staring into the night sky above them, hoping that a fiery meteor would appear and come crashing towards those whores.
And I really love the part at the 2:12 mark where Pimp Mama Kris is bouncing around to “All of the Lights” while watching Jaden Smith and the other brats play in the field. She’s definitely thinking to herself, “Hmmmm, I wonder which one of their young souls I should eat for dinner?”