Justin Bieber Is Butch

October 20, 2013 / Posted by:

Another day, another desperate attempt by Justin Bieber to try to butch up his image and convince us all that he’s not a lipstick lesbian.  Lipgloss always, lipstick NEVAH!  Unless it’s Wet’N'Wild frosted cotton candy pink, guuuurl.  So the Daily Mail reports that the bad ass (or really, just ass) went to a strip club where he apparently touched a stripper’s nalgas.  Putting hands on bare real lady flesh!! They grow up so fast.

He was hanging with his entourage at Club V Live in Houston with topless strippers, and no way were the other girls going to show him up, so of course he got topless too.  Everybody got their titties out!  Sounds like a typical Thanksgiving dinner at my house.  And like my house, turkey has by far the best looking breast to offer.

It looks like it was a wild staying up past bedtime night.  TMZ has exclusive pics of Biebs with a Dos Equis in hand at Nox Houston earlier in the evening but since it’s illegal for toddlers 19 year olds to drink, I’m sure he was just holding it for his bodyguard.  So Texas will arrest Willie Nelson for smoking the good shit but is okay with kids getting their drank on??  Heinous.  Anyway, they moved the party to the strip club where Justin pretended to be liquored up off of one beer and started groping half naked booty.

The stripper tweeted ‘He touched my ass I almost fainted [sic],’ @DiamondsR4ever. The truth is she almost fainted from shock when Pedobear and the feds didn’t come cart her ass to jail for letting little boys bad touch her.  Or maybe the fumes off of Justin’s whole-bottle-of-Dippity-Do head made her woozy.

With a handful of hiney (“I’m never washing this hand again!” – Justin “Um, seriously, here’s some Purell” – the stripper) and a fresh Shirley Temple, Justin partied into the night, throwing dollah dollah bills y’all at the ladies and there are a few grainy ass pictures below.  WE GET IT BIEBS, you’re all growed up and you only wear diapers now because it’s cool and not because you can’t make a pee pee in the potty yet.

In the last year or so, he’s gone from being Walt Disney‘s wettest dream to partying with strippers, pissing in mop buckets, spitting on fans, and most douchetastic of all having his bodyguards carry him onto the Great Wall of China without even using his Baby Bjorn.  In other words, he’s grown from a snotty entitled little brat to a snotty entitled little man.  Now I get why Toby Sheldon totally wants to be him.

Pics via Daily Mail

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