I can never ever keep up with who Tara Reid’s piece-of-the-moment, and that’s something somebody should bring up at my year-end employee review, because it’s my job to keep up with who is currently finding himself strangely hypnotized by her nibbled-on salami circle areolas as she rides him. One second she’s married to a piece, then she’s divorced from that piece, then she’s engaged to a new piece, then she’s barfing on the crotch (aka beej gone wrong) of a different piece, then she’s bearding for a new piece, then she’s married again, etc… etc.. I can’t keep up and even Tara can’t keep up. She has no idea who she’s with and if you asked her what her new dude’s name is, she’d slur out, “Hodafskjadsfiubkkluqoukajlj Adfladsjfkljb.eeu.” That’s what she calls all her dudes. It’s easier that way.
Here’s Terror Reid and her boyfriend Erez Eisen leaving a restaurant in L.A. last night. Tara and Erez have probably already gotten married and divorced in the time it took me to write this post, but they still look like a good match to me. I mean, he has a luxurious mane (perfect for dabbing the corners of your mouth with after drunk barfing) and he looks like he cares about her digestive system. He’s obviously pushing out gas for her. Bobby and Whitney call that “black love,” but I call it universal love.
Fun fact: Erez is one half of an Israeli psytrance/electronica duo called Infected Mushroom. INFECTED MUSHROOM! Too easy.