Rielle Hunter Is Really Sorry for Bareback Boning John Edwards Five Years Ago

October 15, 2013 / Posted by:

Every single day, you go to your mailbox and right before you open it, you take a deep breath and hope that there’s a personal “I’m So Sowwy” card from Rielle Hunter in it. A single tear forms in your crying sack when you realize that there’s no apology card from Rielle in there. Well, you can stop crying, because John Edwards’ busted-version-of-Judith-Light-looking side piece is apologizing for something that most people don’t care about anymore.

In an open letter to everyone on HuffPo, Rielle apologized if she hurt you. Here’s a piece of her apology:

I behaved badly. That may seem obvious to you but it’s taken me a long time to admit that, even to myself. For years I was so viciously attacked by the media and the world that I felt like a victim. I now realize that the attacks are actually beside the point. The point is: I behaved badly.

I am very sorry for my wrong, selfish behavior. Back in 2006, I did not think about the scope of my actions, how my falling in love with John Edwards, and acting on that love, could hurt so many people. I hurt Elizabeth and her kids. I hurt her family. I hurt John’s family. I hurt people that knew Elizabeth. I hurt people who didn’t know Elizabeth but loved her from afar. I hurt people who gave their hard earned dollars to a campaign — a cause they believed in. I hurt people who are married and believe in marriage. Many of these people have let me know that I hurt them. Unfortunately, I was not thinking about anyone but myself. I was selfish. I fell in love with John Edwards and wanted to be with him and that desire trumped everything else.

And then instead of apologizing when I should have, I went on to hurt more people by writing a book. I truly did not realize at that time how damaged I was and because of that, when I wrote my book I made more mistakes, ones I feel horrible about.

Bitch, you need to apologize to Barney, Kermit and Dora for dragging them into this mess and making them pose next to you while you worked the freshly fucked look.

And if you’re wondering why Rielle is apologizing now, HuffPo answered that question by putting this at the end of her apology:

Rielle Hunter’s new book, “In Hindsight, What Really Happened: The Revised Edition: John Edwards, Our Daughter and Me” is on sale today.

That’s my new favorite punchline.

(Pic via GQ)

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