Eli is an orphaned bear currently living at the Animal Ark Zoo in Reno, NV and the plan is to rehabilitate him and hopefully release him back into the wild one day. Teaching him how to play tetherball is a really, really important lesson and it will only help him in life. When they release Eli, he can enroll in the nearest elementary school and quickly rule the tetherball court and become the queen of the playground. At my elementary school, only the girls (and me) played tetherball and nobody really fucked with the girl who was the best at that shit. So Eli is going to rule the school!
And this goes without saying, but Eli is a better tetherball player than me. It kind of ruined my game when all the girls would laugh at me after I’d cry from hitting my hand against the pole. Those hating bitches.