Hot Slut Of The Day!

October 13, 2013 / Posted by:

The pink Florida bombshell who was “straddled like Jesus” when she got caught on a railroad bridge as it was lifting into the air. Oh, Florida. That glorious image should replace every Welcome to Florida sign, because she is Florida’s very own Statue of Liberty.

Most people are still burping out question marks over what really happened on a railroad bridge in Ft. Lauderdale yesterday. NBC6 (via HuffPo) says that what they do know is that the unidentified hot pink Tasmanian Devil beauty from Dania Beach was participating in the Making Strides Against Breast Cancer 5K with a bunch of friends when she, for some reason, decided to cross a railroad bridge that’s closed to pedestrians. Most of us know that you should never cross a railroad bridge unless you’re an old timey villain who wants to tie an old timey damsel to the tracks. But while dressed like a Tiny Toons character, she tried to cross and got stuck on it when it started to rise. A witness named Philip Glazebrook spit out the quote of the day when he told NBC 6 that he was surprised she got stuck since a loud ass, ear-burning warning goes off when the bridge stars to rise.

“This bridge is controlled from Tallahassee. There’s not a bridge minder here anymore. So she’s stuck on the bridge and she’s going up. The next thing is, she’s stuck, straddled like Jesus Christ.”

I don’t know if Mr. Glazebrook has ever wanted to get into the rap game, but he should, because the line “She’s stuck, straddled like Jesus Christ” needs to be turned into a full song.

After the pink Florida daredevil screamed and cried for hos to call 911 while holding onto her purse (Note: Never letting go of her purse is the real reason why she’s a HSOTD, because you should never let go of your purse), the firefighters showed up and used a ladder to get her down. Except for the bruises on her sense of reason, the woman was not harmed and thankfully neither was her hot bustier top thing with the Flinstones edges.

If you’re still wondering why this happened, I have one explanation for you: FLORIDA! (And she was probably trying to cheat. If she was trying to cheat during a charity walk, I love her even more).

MESS! And witness Ashanicka Powell really said it best:

“To me that helped in the fight of cancer. So many people are ready to give up the fight and are still hanging in there. That just symbolized that.”

That is SO right. Homegirl getting stuck on a railroad bridge after ignoring the signs IS a symbol for the fight against breast cancer. That’s it. We’re all done here.

(For Rachel and Mel)

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