One Hundred Percent Pure Purple Sex

October 11, 2013 / Posted by:

Just when I was about to declare today the Backdoor Farrah of gossip days (slow as fuck), these newsworthy and highly important pictures of the bright shiny rhinestone ring hanging off of America’s left nipple came out. Today in West Hollywood, Richard Simmons strut strut strutted his ass while looking like a gorgeous purple wildflower in a blue butterfly sanctuary. If a Q-Tip was used in a purple swan’s ear and a magical blue fairy turned it into a human because she felt it was too fabulous to be thrown out, that human would look like Richard Simmons.

Everybody should celebrate Coming Out Day by dying their hair purple and wearing some 70s shirt from Out of the Closet! Technically, Richard Simmons hasn’t officially come out, but he doesn’t really need to and besides, that outfit is coming out for him. Happy National Coming Out Day!

And here’s more of Richard today and pictures of Richard being a bathing beauty with Diana Nyad in NYC the other day. Commence the puckering!

Pics: Splash

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