Like Henry Cavill’s PR whores were really going to sit around and let that piece of steamed celery Kaley Cuoco get all the 15-word blurbs in Life & Style for becoming Jennifer Love Hewitt 2.0. Something had to be done! Before Henry was co-starring with Kaley in staged grocery store photo-ops that were so fake that I doubt even the food was real, he was doing naked push-ups on top of Gina Carano. And now they might be back together.
Henry Cavill is in Rome shooting Guy Ritchie’s The Man From U.N.C.L.E. and The Daily Mail has pictures of him having an intimate dinner with Gina on the patio of a restaurant in front of the paps. You know, who needs candlelight when the pap’s flash is there to illuminate your piece’s face? That’s next level romance. The pictures are kind of hilarious. They look as choreographed and staged as Kim Kartrashian’s entire life. I once saw a production of Romeo & Juliet performed entirely by wooden puppets and that shit looked more real and human than Gina and Henry’s dinner date. Rehearsals were held for that dinner date. That’s not real red wine, it’s dyed water and the only words that were spoken were from the actor hired to play a waiter who said, “I can’t believe this shit only pays scale.”
And Henry doing all these stage photo-ops makes me think that he’s actually a really hot animatronic robot who was built by Hollywood and they have yet to perfect the part of his hard drive that makes it looks like he feels real human emotions.
With all that being said, Henry and Gina are so much better than him and that celery chick from TV.