After sharing some Coke, White Oprah and Lindsay Lohan put their crotches on Citibikes and rode around the West Side of Manhattan today. The people around them should be wearing helmets and armor, because anytime White Oprah’s messy, drunk ass operates a transportation vehicle, lives are in danger. And the next time you sit your ass on a Citibike, you might be sitting on White Oprah’s dried crotch and ass sweat. Wait, can coke-infused dried crotch and ass sweat get you high? Because if it can, there’s probably a lot of cokeheads sniffing White Oprah’s used seat.