Night Crumbs

October 7, 2013 / Posted by:

Esquire naming dead-eyed ScarJo its Sexiest Woman Alive AGAIN makes me think that they know something we don’t know. We’re probably all ghosts and she’s the only living human on the planet. That’s the only explanation for this shit. – The Superficial

Justin Timberlake butches up his voice and tries to sound like his balls dropped in his new song – Lainey Gossip

Paging White Oprah! Paging White Oprah! There’s a massive cleanup in the booze aisle and only your mouth can handle the job! - Drunken Stepfather

LeAnn Rimes’ hand probably busted itself because it was sick of taking part in her stupid Twitter fights – Celebitchy

Kim Kartrashian is trying to make her failed reality slut friend Brittny Gastineau happen – Reality Tea

Meanwhile, Marc Jacobs is wiping the sad, cold tears trickling out of his b-hole as its mourns the loss of Harry Louis’ beef wellington dick (beef willy-ngton?) – Towleroad

How in the hell did they get a picture of my only tattoo (see: pic #13)???? – The Berry

Jenna Jameson is either wearing hipster glasses 10 years too late or she’s come prepared by wearing cum-blocking goggles - Hollywood Tuna

BREAKING: Selena Gomez pumps her own gas – Popoholic

Charlize Theron got surgery on her neck, still looks hot while recovering from that shit – ICYDK

If you ever want to see Twitter villain Azealia Banks dramatically quit that bitch, throw a beer can at her – OMG Blog

T.R. Knight officially becomes the only person in Hollywood who doesn’t hate Katherine Heigl by inviting her to his wedding – HuffPo

I really hope that the Once Upon a Time producers get inspired by ABC’s genius fuck-up and write another spin-off series called Once Upon a Time in Snow White’s Rabbit HolePajiba

The inevitable Wrecking Ball/Nothing Compares 2 U mash-up is here and it’s not awful - Death and Taxes

JoJo looks like a swap meet version of Miley Cyrus - Moe Jackson

WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO YOUR LIFE, JENNIFER EHLE?!!! – Just Jared

Nina Dobrev officially makes her public debut as Derek Hough’s beard – Popsugar

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