“Know when to walk away” isn’t only one of the taglines for Runner Runner. It’s also what everybody said to themselves after they thought about buying tickets to see Justin Timberlake’s latest contribution to cinema’s growing mountain of turds. Justin Timberlake is still trying to be a huge A-list movie star and America is still trying to tell him to shut up and sing (or become a regular cast member on SNL already), because nobody wants to see his face on the big screen.
While some of us were jizzing at the eyeballs over all the special effects in Gravity (Side note: The most impressive part of Gravity was Sandra Bullock’s zero gravity-defying wig. It stayed on through all that shit. That brand of wig glue deserves an honorary Oscah!), tumbleweeds blew through all the theaters showing Runner Runner. Box Office Mojo says that Gravity broke October box office records in the US and debuted at #1 with $56 million. Runner Runner flopped with $7.6 million and it came in at #3 behind Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs 2.
The critics also let JT know that he should probably install a shelf over his toilet to put the Razzie he’ll get for his performance in Runner Runner (which according to UrbanDictionary is the name for a stubborn shit that refuses to flush, fitting).
I didn’t even know what this mess was about until I looked up the plot on Wikipedia just now. This crap is about the dangerous and thrilling world of ONLINE GAMBLING?! Online gambling! I knew an online gambler and dude’s skin was grey from barely ever going outside (like mine!) and he’d only go outside to buy his meals (aka beer, Top Ramen and Totino’s Pizza Rolls) for the week at Costco. If they turned that dude’s everyday life into a movie, it would probably be a better movie than Runner Runner as long as Justin Timberlake didn’t star in it.
And here’s JT celebrating his latest flop by playing golf in Burbank, CA yesterday.