I was going to start my Monday by posting about American Apparel’s “Period Power” t-shirt (which if you buy, I’m judging the FUCK out of you, but you can tell everybody it’s an artistic interpretation of Kanye talking about Kanye), but I decided to save my thoughts about that mess for when Miley Cyrus eventually wears it with matching a “Yeast Infection Power” backwards thong. So I’m starting my Monday with the next best thing: Gerard Butler squatting out an imaginary shit on the streets of NYC.
The paps says that the CDC’s most wanted of 2007 and beyond was riding around with his friend when he decided to stop and pose like he’s butt squirting out his last 4 movies. Gerard’s friend took the picture, they looked at it together and mouth shat out a dozen laughs, because they thought of the old days when Gerard would regularly caca on the NYC sidewalk after a drunken night out. If you’ve lived in NYC, you’ve probably stepped in dog shit at least once and you’ve definitely stepped in Gerard Butler shit more than once. What New Yorker hasn’t walked down the street, run into a pile of human poop and pointed at it while saying, “The Butler did it!”
And when I opened up Photoshop to crop these pictures, a pop-up window asked me, “Would you like me to open up extremeconedildo.bmp as well?” It knows me too well and it knows that a extremeconedildo.bmp belongs under Gerry’s butt in that picture.