Night Crumbs

Goopy Paltrow started the whitest war ever with Vanity Fair and told all her best friends not to do the magazine anymore…. And here’s her bestest fwend Jay-Z showing what kind of influence she has by posing on the cover of Vanity Fair (and looking embalmed and constipated while doing so)   – Lainey Gossip

Chrissy Teigen’s left nip plays peek-a-tit with the paps – Drunken Stepfather

Ashley Greene’s newest ho stroll partner has a look on his face that says, “Ugh, I’m only doing this because she promised me a $25 Starbucks card if I did” – Celebitchy

And Miley Cyrus would’ve totally twerked that baby out during labor – The Superficial

I don’t know why Justin Bieber’s former au pair looks mad. Bitch should be farting out sun rays of happiness and always smiling now that she no longer has to put ointment on his diaper rash – Hollywood Tuna

Elton John speaks fluent Kanye to the paps – Towleroad

Kim Zolciak gets her daily dose of Vitamin FW (fame whore) by taking a selfie of her pregnant ass – Reality Tea

The only thing I have to add to this is YAAAASSS to #17 – The Berry

Yup, Kaley Cuoco’s transformation into Jennifer Love Hewitt 2.0 is on schedule – IDLYITW

The sweater you wore to 3rd grade picture day in 1985, Olivia Munn’s wearing it – Popoholic

St. Angie and Brad Pitt are probably married but probably not – ICYDK

And 10 minutes later, Taylor Swift fucked Lorde’s boyfriend – HuffPo

Bitchy PR lady needs to be introduced to a new friend called a bong – OMG Blog

Eh, drown them all in a river, but keep Patty and Selma – Videogum

Droopy Goopy – Just Jared

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATE IT – I’m Not Obsessed

The hair RiRi is wearing on Glamour is the same hair Eriq La Salle wore in Coming to America – Crunk + Disorderly

But in other news, Kate from Lost should dump her entire supply of hair dye (in shade: Autumn Sunrise) and never go ginger again – Pajiba

Becks in his chonies again. Fap if you must. – Popsugar