Which Has More Plastic In It: Courtney Stodden Or Courtney Stodden’s Dress?

September 30, 2013 / Posted by:

That’s actually a trick question. It’s like asking: Which one exudes the most natural elegance? The answer is BOTH!

If the whole “being the most exquisitely stunning porn iguana in the world” thing doesn’t work out for her, Courtney Stodden should join Cirque du Holeil, because she can walk on 12 inch stilts while balancing a pair of 50 pound medicine ball titties. That is talent! As her burn victim clown-looking husband was at home trolling the Internet for his next child bride since the porn iguana is obviously going to leave his ass soon for a European prince who is looking for the next Grace Kelly, she went to SUR in West Hollywood, CA to nibble on wet lettuce as her wrecking ball (Note: Please DO NOT Photoshop a naked Miley on Courtney’s tits, nobody needs that) chichis kept knocking over the salt and pepper on the table.

Just when I think that the porn iguana couldn’t be anymore graceful or demure, she outdoes herself by wearing a luxurious recycling trash bag dress and a spray painted gold bamboo fence choker. And that lip liner! Lip liner is the 9″ hard dick of beauty products. It makes me cry tears of happiness while feeling things.

And these pictures are where elegance goes when it needs inspiration.

Pics: Splash

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