The next time the fluorescent lights above your cubicle have sucked the last drop of life out of your spirit and your annoying co-workers have made you contemplate making a noose out of paper clips and tape, just remind yourself that it could always be worse. You could be Justin Bieber’s bodyguard.
The pus-filled pimple stuck to humanity’s clitoris is in China and when he visited the Great Wall today, he made his bodyguards carry him up the stairs, because nothing is harder or more bad ass than two grown men carrying you up a flight of stairs like you’re a delicate, fragile baby queen whose feet must never be tainted. Mimi is looking at this like, “Eh. No fanning slave girls? No topless men throwing butterfly-shaped gardenia petals in front of him? Newbie diva!”
The ears of those bodyguards were probably filled with the squishy sounds from Justin’s full diaper. If those bodyguards only knew that humanity would’ve turned the other way and said, “No, I didn’t hear anything, I didn’t see anything,” if they suddenly got a tick in their shoulders and sort of kind of knocked him over the side of the wall.
And another Belieber tweeted this picture of his bodyguards running after him as he skated down the street.
You’d have to have the restraint of a monk to not “accidentally” kick the back wheel of King Joffrey Bieber’s skateboard as you run behind his spoiled ass. Actually, scratch that, even the Dalai Lama would make that bitch fly by kicking his wheel.