The come-to-life Strawberry Shortcake Lemon Meringue doll Taylor Swift will follow up her emotionally raw and multi-layered performance in Valentine’s Day with an equally as emotional raw performance in the movie adaptation of the 1993 novel The Giver. I have never heard of this Giver shit before, but apparently every early 90s child read it and it was like their Hunger Games. Here’s IMDB’s description of it:
In a seemingly perfect community, without war, pain, suffering, differences or choice, a young boy is chosen to learn from an elderly man about the true pain and pleasure of the “real” world.
Brenton Thwaites, who’s supposedly Taylor’s latest apple picking partner, will pull some Gabrielle Carteris shit, because he’s 23 and he’s going to play the 12-year-old lead in this. Entertainment Weekly says that Meryl Streep will play the Chief Elder of the perfect community, Katie Holmes will play the boy’s mom, ASkars will play the boy’s father and Jeff Bridges will play The Giver (I always figured Jeff Bridges as more of a versatile bottom, but whatever). Taylor has been cast in a small role as Rosemary, the last teenager mentored by The Giver.
Two things: I see Katie Holmes is making Tommy Girl seethe out of his Underoos by kissing on and bumping nipples with ASkars in a movie. And since this takes place in a perfect community with no pain or suffering, that means that Taylor Swift isn’t going to sing live, right?