There’s Only One Reason To Watch The Between Two Ferns With Justin Bieber

Zach AllTheLettersOnMyKeyboard had the hardest gerbil in the cage (paging Richard Gere’s newly single butthole) Justin Bieber on his Funny or Die show Between Two Ferns (Side note: Whenever I read the title, “Between Two Ferns,” I think of, “Where the Red Fern Grows,” which wraps me in sadness because: dog death) and he did what billions of people have been wanting to do forever: he whooped that trick!

Before Zach took a belt to that brat, he scolded the Biebs for smoking pot, pissing in mop buckets and the Anne Frank shit. The fern behind the Biebs has better acting skills and comedic timing than he does, so about 15 seconds in, I screamed for a chancleta moment and my prayers were answered. Violence is never the answer, unless the questions is, “How do you solve a problem like Justin Bieber?”

I know this was all fake and the chair is the one who got hit the most during Zach’s belt beatdown, but just let me believe.

….and now I ruined it for myself by realizing that some sick fuck out there is actually fapping to this. A little boy getting whipped by a grown man who isn’t his father. This is like Fifty Shades of Grey: NAMBLA Edition.