Pimp Mama Kris Is Probably Tweeting As Lamar Now (UPDATE)

September 26, 2013 / Posted by:

Seen above using her dark-sided, mind-reading powers to suck Lamar Odom’s Twitter password from the memory bin in his brain, Pimp Mama Kris and her kreatures are probably the ones who wrote the tweet where he slapped at his father and praised the Kardashian Klan. A couple of days ago, Lamar’s father Smack Daddy Joe Odom injected a large load of YES into the largest vein on my soul when he called Pimp Mama Kris an “evil bitch” who never cared about his son and is spreading lies. The next day, Lamar suspiciously came out of hiding and defended PMK and the rest of the Kartrashians on Twitter.

Won’t continue 2 speak on this but I have got 2 let this out real quick. I have let this man and many others get away with a lot of shit. He wasn’t there 2 raise me. He was absent ALL of my life due to his own demons. My mother and grandmother raised me. Queens raised me. For the first time since they left, came a blessing of a FAMILY that I married into. FAMILY. That man wasn’t even invited to my wedding. He has never met my mother in law and some of my other family. How can a man who has NOT once called me to check on my well being have the nerve to talk so recklessly about his own “son”. He is my downfall! His own demons may be the ONLY thing he gave 2 me. He disrespecting the ONLY FAMILY that has loved me without expecting anything in return. They are the ONLY ones that have been here consistently 4 me during this dark time. Only person 2 blame is myself. Say what you want about me but leave the ones who have done nothing but protect and love me out of this! This goes to out to everyone!

…has loved me without expecting anything in return.”  I really have to give kredit where kredit is due. PMK was able to type out that absurd shit  without kackling herself into a koma. And she was able to do it while a hollowed butt plug containing Lamar’s soul was shoved up her kulo. She’s a genius.

Sources close to Lamar tell TMZ that he couldn’t have tweeted out that tweet, because he’s currently living the Charlie Sheen life by holing himself up in an Internet-free crack house 100 miles away from L.A. Lamar is extra paranoid that people are watching him, so he doesn’t have Internet. Lamar thinks his phone is tapped, so he’s only on it for 15 seconds at a time. Anytime somebody comes to visit, he takes their phone. So Lamar didn’t write the tweet and he doesn’t even know that his dad slammed the Kartrashians again.

The sources also say that Lamar’s got two 20-something crack skanks living with him. All he does all day is smoke crack, listen to rap music, bone one of his crack skanks and send his driver out to get more crack. (“That’s EXACTLY what my average day is like!” – the Mayor of Toronto) Lamar is afraid he’s going to get caught smoking crack, so he uses an app that deletes the texts he sends after they’re read and lets him know if a screen shot of his text was taken. (Note to sext-happy Anthony Weiner: You should probably get that app.)

I don’t know if I believe either of these stories. I thought PMK was leaking anti-Lamar stories to TMZ, so why would she leak a story about how he didn’t write that tweet? Maybe she did it to throw us off her story-leaking trail. THE MIND GAMES! I know, if you asked me what I think about Syria, I’d look at you as though you were speaking Korean in Pig Latin. But if you asked me who I think is leaking stories about Lam Lam to TMZ, I’d spit out a 10,000 word konspiracy theory. My teachers are proud.

UPDATE: Aaaaaand now TMZ is saying that Lamar did tweet that ode to the Kardashians. Apparently, Lamar called the Kardashians before he tweeted that note of praise. Lamar wanted them to know he was about to tweet it. Kim, PMK, Khloe and Kourtney were all on speaker when he called. This means that TMZ and PMK are back together again. All is well now!

And here’s Khlozilla showing us what it would look like if a Sasquatch mated with a Predator while filming KUWTK with the slow one and the slow one’s daughter yesterday.

Pics: Splash, Wenn.com

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