Just What Everyone’s Been Asking For, Another GOOP

Blake NotSoLively hasn’t been in a movie or anything since last year and she really doesn’t have anything else going on, so she needs something to do while Ryan Reynolds does ab crunches for 8 hours straight. Drooling on herself while staring at a blank wall that has more personality than she does can get boring (even for Blake), so she’s going to start her own company! In an interview with British Vogue (via The Cut), Blake mumbled out an explanation of what her company is about and it sounds to me like she’s GOOPing the fuck out.

“It’s something that will be launching in a few months and that I’m really, really thrilled about. The main element of it is that it’s about storytelling and it’s about living a very one-of-a-kind, curated life, and how to achieve that. There’s nothing like it out there – it’s without a genre. I have so many passions outside of acting and things that I grew up being good at and that I don’t utilise when acting. Acting was something that my family did so I just kind of got into it by default, but there was so much that I cultivated, thinking that I wouldn’t be an actor.”

Storytelling? Curated life? The fuck is wrong with some rich people’s brains? That’s some shit you come up with when you’re really bored, you’re really rich, you think Elle Decor is real life and you’ve had way too many $500 lunches with Martha Stewart during the week. I don’t know what a curated life is, but I know I don’t want one. Blake’s company sounds like Pinterest on GOOP.

The good news for everyone else is that hopefully Blake will be too busy “curating” lives that she won’t have time to try acting again.