Jon Gosselin Still Lives In The Woods, Is Waiting Tables Now

Four years ago, Jon Gosselin was living the douche life by partying with skanks on Christian Audigier’s yacht and wearing the finest clothes that Ed Hardy had to offer. Well now, Jon Gosselin can’t even get an invitation to party on Spencer Pratt’s dinghy boat and he can barely afford to buy The Situation’s old Ed Hardy shirts at The Salvation Army. Jon is still living in a cabin in the woods and is waiting tables to pay his bills.

The National Enquirer published a story last week about how Jon has hit “rock bottom” because he’s waiting tables at a restaurant in Beckersville, PA and living in the woods. Entertainment Tonight caught up with Jon and asked him if he’s struggling to pay his bills and he said:

“No, I don’t know why people said that. They said it because I’m waiting tables, which is really disgusting. To think that because you wait tables, or because you have different things, or because you don’t have an 8 to 5 job, that you’re making ends meet.”

Jon said that he’s hit rock bottom at least 20 times but he keeps bouncing back up. The server job is the only job he could get, because nobody wants to hire his ass.

Okay, who in the hell is saying that Jon hit rock bottom because he’s waiting tables and living in a cabin in the woods? Let’s see, Jon is working a job and when he goes to his peaceful cabin in the woods, he gets to snuggle with a deer (???) instead of hearing his child army screech as Kate Gosselin gnaws on the raw area where his nuts used to be. Jon’s current day life is the opposite of rock bottom.

And here’s ET’s story on this highly important shit:

I love how Entertainment Tonight threw up the words “NO INTERNET! NO TV!” like it’s a really big deal that Jon doesn’t have Internet or television in his cabin. I’m not being sarcastic. They’re right, because having no Internet and no TV is worse than having no running water. I mean, I can’t watch an episode of Beverly Hills Teens when I turn on the faucet!