After centuries upon centuries of hearing that Brit Brit’s going to bring her Arm Waving And Lip-Synching Spectacular to Las Vegas, she finally announced on Good Morning America today that she’s doing a two year residency at Planet Hollywood. Thousands of her fans dressed up in her …Baby One More Time school girl outfit and dragged themselves to the middle of the Nevada desert at 2 in the morning to hold up a giant sign for her. Brit Brit saw the sign from a helicopter and she later told Sam Champion that she got the sicks during the ride. Yack, bitch! And yes, Brit Brit barfing up in the helicopter before announcing has Las Vegas shows is foreshadowing.
When Brit Brit finally landed on the ground and rinsed the voms out of her mouth with pork rind-flavored Listerine, she told Sam Champion that her new album is coming out on December 3rd and her Las Vegas show “Britney: Piece of Me” will start on December 27th. She’s (and by “she” I mean Daddy Spears and her other wallet holders) supposedly getting $30 million to do 96 shows during a 2 year period.
In the pre-recorded interview with RedFace McVeneers, Brit Brit didn’t look that uncomfortable and she didn’t look like a pilled up robot deer caught in the headlights. She looked semi-alive-ish! But then in the live interview, she was fidgety, over it and looked like she would’ve rather been eating a plate full of organic, farm fresh vegetables than be in the middle of the desert with Sam Champion. It’s hard to blame her, because standing on top of the graves of people who messed with the mob while being surrounded by a bunch of screaming crazies in school girl costumes sounds like a Hell worse than Burning Man.
And why was she dressed like a Hong Kong-based lady pimp?