Sadly, we’re not going to see Miley Cyrus twerking down the aisle in her bridal pussy pasty and latex nipple tassles, because the wedding is off. Miley stopped following her fiancé Liam Hemsworth on Twitter and that’s this generation’s equivalent to deleting a trick’s number from your cell phone, throwing all of that trick’s crap on the front lawn and burning the towel he used as a cum rag every time you boned. LiLey are OVER!
Miley’s spokeswhore and Liam’s spokeswhore both tell People that he’s no longer sucking the teddy bear butt fur off of her lizard tongue and they’ve canceled their order with Piggy Wiggly’s catering department, because the wedding is not going to happen. Sources tell E! that Miley’s the one who took a sledgehammer to their engagement, because she thinks he passed his dick to another (see: January Jones’ ice cold snatch) and she can’t get over it:
“It was Miley’s decision, after coming to grips with Liam what she believed was less than faithful to her.”
Liam isn’t weeping over Miley no longer twerking on his face, because on Saturday night, he was getting close to a mystery chick type at Bungalow 8 in Las Vegas after the Mayweather fight.
Now that Miley is single, brace yourselves for who she’s going to date next. She’ll either go all the way with her RiRi impersonation by dating Chris Brown or she’ll full-time date the Wrecking Ball she already had bareback sex with. I’m hoping she’ll go with the Wrecking Ball. It causes just as much damage as Chris Brown, but at least it’s honest about it.