The title of Sara Gilbert’s future memoirs will be, “David From Roseanne Turned Me Into a Lesbian,” because she confessed on The Talk yesterday that she realized that peen isn’t really for her while making out with Johnny Galecki. If Sara wasn’t a lesbian, making out with Johnny still would’ve been weird since they have the exact same mouth. They’re mouth twins!
“Secret Week” on The Talk continues! Sharon Osbourne confessed that she rode Jay Leno’s erect chin once. Aisha Tyler talked about her struggle to get pregnant. The Chenbot confessed to cutting some of the Chinese out of her eyes. Sheryl Underwood confessed that her born name is Noxeema Jackson, and yesterday Sara Gilbert spoke out about coming to terms with her gayelleness. Sara said that while she and Johnny worked together on Roseanne, they dated for a second or two. They used to make out and she knew something wasn’t right when sucking on Johnny’s face made her sad. The thing about making out when you’re not into it is that the other ho can usually tell you’re not into it. The trick who’s not into it closes their eyes really tight, recoils a little bit and swallows your face the same way a Fear Factor contestant swallows a rat hair milkshake. They don’t want to be doing it, but they’re going to do it fast and get it over with. (Yes, I’m typing from experience). Johnny knew Sara wasn’t into it and when he asked her about it, she told him the truth.
“Johnny felt badly and started to take it personally and didn’t understand what was going on. So I eventually told him that I thought it was about my sexuality and he was super sweet about it. And then we were doing Roseanne and I started dating a woman who was 18 years older than I was and also in the public eye and something that people could’ve found out about. No one knew at the show for years. Johnny held the secret the whole time and I just felt always so scared if it came out. What could happen? Could I lose my career? Would I ever be able to play a straight role again?”
Sara said when she decided to share the story on The Talk, she called up Johnny to ask his permission:
“I called him and I just said, ‘Is it okay? I’m thinking about talking about this and the story sort of starts with you. And I gotta say that I made out with you and got depressed, which is kind of a bummer.’ And he said, ‘Yeah, of course! I love you and I think it’s really important. I’m so proud of you. If you want, I’ll be there with you and I’ll hold your hand.’ And I just thought that was so sweet.”
We all know that Johnny didn’t “turn” Sara into a lesbian since that’s not possible, but I will still help him prove that he doesn’t have that power. I will make out with Johnny and I guarantee you I won’t immediately want to rinse my mouth out with coochie afterward. But I cannot guarantee that after making out with my gross ass, Johnny won’t become a-sexual and vow to never touch tongues with another living thing.
Here’s Sara, who’s quickly morphing into her fiancee Linda Perry, sharing her story on The Talk: