Lainey had a blind item last year about a popular, adorable actor who had a relationship with an ultra-dramatic, Emo-like actor, and after they broke up the Emo-like actor went crazy and threatened to expose them both. GAY DRAMA! I’d like to think it was about Don Rickles and Jack Nicholson, but everyone else thought it was about Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Michael Pitt. We’ll never ever ever know and we’ll all close our eyes for the last time without knowing if Joseph Gordon-Levitt loves peen, poon or both.
During an interview with Out Magazine to promote his movie Don Jon and his 10-year-old anti-pap short film Pictures of Assholes, JGL said he’s not going to say if he’s gay, straight or bi, because that would be trashy.
“That would be really tacky—they would win if I had to clarify.”
The “they” he’s talking about isn’t the terrorists. He’s talking about the media and the paparazzi. JGL went on to talk about how he learned from the very beginning of his career to be protective of his privacy:
“It comes from a really young age,” he concedes. “It can be really awkward and difficult to be thought of as this thing on TV. Before understanding it or being able to analyze it, I just knew it made me really anxious.” Regularly recognized in his teens as “that kid from 3rd Rock From the Sun,” his reflexive response was denial. “I wouldn’t just say ‘No,’ ” he recalls. “I was way more convincing than that. I would first act confused, and then I would try to understand what they were saying. I would play the part.”
I don’t think I’ve spent a lot of time wondering if Joseph Gordon-Levitt gets hard for coochie, cock or both and that’s surprising since I spend a lot of time wondering if EVERYBODY gets hard for coochie, cock or both. But now I’m going to overanalyze and study that picture of him clutching onto a pussy with a protective/angry look on his face. What does it mean?