Ever since the future King of England was pulled out of Duchess Kate’s royal vagine, she’s done a whole lot of firsts. When she went grocery shopping, the media said she went outside for the first time since giving birth to Prince Hot Ginge’s future drinking partner. When she went to some marathon, the media (and I) said that she went to work for the first time since she got THE QUEEN off of her asshole by giving birth to a boy heir. And then tonight, DK went to an official royal event for the first time since doing you know what. I’m sure there’s an article out there somewhere about Duchess Kate pooting out her first fart since giving birth or doing her first cinnamon schnapps shot off of PHG’s nip since giving birth. I will update once I find them.
In the meantime… Duchess Kate and Prince William went to the Tusk Conservation Awards, which celebrates outstanding achievement in the field of African conservation, in London tonight. Prince William’s presenting two awards. Since you care, Duchess Kate wore a gold sequined dress by Jenny Packham. Usually, I don’t like anything Duchess Kate wears on her body, because it’s usually every shade of boring and re-defines bland. But I actually like this dress and that’s mostly because it reminds me of this class moment in sequin history:
She better be sent to the tower forever if she didn’t say, “Tons of fucking sequins,” every time a reporter asked her what she was wearing.