Katherine (insert the sound of coughing up phlegm here) used to be one of the highest-paid actresses in Hollywood and she was making $12 million a movie after Knocked Up, but then her not-so-inner asshole came out and she brought the bitchery on the people who helped fill her checking account with mountains of money. Heigl the Terrible said that Knocked Up was “sexist” and that same year she said that she wouldn’t submit herself for an Emmy nomination because the Grey’s Anatomy writers didn’t give her any good material to work with. Because she’s a certified bitch and openly talked shit about the people she worked with, not many in Hollywood wanted to work with her ass again. But after shitting out a few movie flops, Katherine Heigl is going back to TV and trying to save her career before the only thing she’s offered is a cameo role in Sharknado 5. (Actually, that would never happen, because that would be considered abuse against CGI sharks.)
The Hollywood Reporter did a story about Heigl’s “comeback” and talked to a few people who worked with her in the past. Some said good things about her and others said that they’d rather stick their genitals in a lion’s mouth than work with her again. The director of Heigl’s movie Life As We Know It said that he’d work with her again, but somebody else who worked on that movie said something totally different. They said that Heigl was difficult from beginning to end and moaned out of her whine hole about everything.
“She can cost you time every single day of shooting. Wardrobe issues, not getting out of the trailer, questioning the script every single day. Even getting her deal closed at Warners was hard. She hit that point of ‘no.’ “
That same source also had a few words to say about Heigl’s momager Nancy:
“I have never experienced anything like Nancy Heigl. It’s about the mouth. ‘Fuck you. You are a fucking liar.’ … Whatever you’d say, you were an idiot. The call would be, ‘This is the worst craft service we’ve ever had! There’s nothing to eat! This is the worst wardrobe!’ You knew that every day, you were going to get slammed. The frustrating part is [Heigl] is incredibly talented and smart.”
Somebody else who worked on 27 Dresses with Heigl said that she was fine during filming, but became a rusty nail in everyone’s piss hole when they went overseas to promote the movie:
“There were movie-star demands — big rooms, the mother there, all the stuff. ‘We need the presidential suite at The Bristol!’ It was just a sense of entitlement. The biggest stars don’t do that kind of thing.”
Heigl refused to talk to THR, but a source close to her (aka Nancy after taking a Valium) said that she knows she has to prove that she’s not a throbbing cunt sore anymore. But a TV executive isn’t buying it. They told THR that Heigl was considered for a lead role in a pilot and she was perfect for it, but they passed, because she’s “not worth it.”
Heigl and her mom are currently working on her “comeback” show for NBC. Heigl plays the CIA’s chief liaison to the president and it’s been described as “Scandal meets The West Wing.”
You know, why doesn’t everybody just leave Katherine Heigl alone?! Who cares if she wipes her ass with a script she doesn’t like and throws it at the writer’s face? Who cares if she rips up a costume if she hates it? Who cares if she freaks out if she doesn’t stay in the presidential suite at The Bristol when she should be grateful if they gave her a room by the elevator at a Holiday Inn? Who cares if her mom curses out the craft service people if they don’t put medium rare panda meat on the table? Who cares if her bloated ego is messing with her money? Being Katherine Heigl is hard! It’s hard getting paid millions of dollars to play the same neurotic character in everything she does!
But whatever, Heigl doesn’t need Hollywood. She has ZzzQuil now:
Bitch gets paid to sleep, so eat that, Hollywood.