Taylor Momsen Doesn’t Have Raccoon Eyes Anymore

September 10, 2013 / Posted by:

In case you forgot what Taylor Momsen looked like after sneaking onto a campground to smear ten pounds of charcoal dust over her eyes, here’s what her signature deranged raccoon eyes looked like a couple of years ago:


And now she doesn’t have them anymore. I don’t know how she got those thirty layers of Sharpie gunk, tar and gunpowder off of her eyes. I thought that the only way to get all that shit off of her face would be to remove her goddamn skin. She must’ve went down to Home Depot, rented a dozen sandblasters, picked up a few of my cousins in the parking lot and got them to blast that mess off of her eyes. It looks like after they chipped the paint off her eyes, they chipped away some of her nose. Bitch got rid of her raccoon eyes and half of her nose. She looks like a completely different person now. She looks like a Russian art student/Palmer Girl impersonator who makes extra money posing for pictures used in those ~Ukrainian~ bride e-mail scams.

Well, one thing didn’t change. She still looks like she’s full of rainbows and kitten kisses and lives a life full of sunshiney happiness.

Here’s Taylor with Kelly Rutherford and Wonky McValtrex at the Alice + Olivia presentation in NYC yesterday.

Pics: Splash, Wenn.com

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163 responses to “Taylor Momsen Doesn’t Have Raccoon Eyes Anymore”


    Love the dress but that makeup is awful. Her face is 10 shades lighter than the rest of her. She should also smile, the stank face is not working for her. She does look really good standing next to Paris though.

  2. putsomestankonit says:

    I thought Kelly Rutherford was broke broke, not just celebrity broke.

  3. PinkPostIt says:

    What is that white powder on her face?

  4. TheOriginalUncleBrainfart says:

    She looks like an eastern european prostitute.

  5. JTROS says:

    Her nose looks so strange. The rest of her is a huge improvement, though.

  6. Not_That_Steph_The_Other_Steph says:

    It’s better, but the foundation needs a little work.

  7. Rick says:

    Wouldn’t want to wake up to either of those faces looking at me in the morning.

  8. jill hives says:

    put a little lotion on yo legs, taylor.

  9. Callie says:

    She looks a little Fanning in the face.

  10. SGVPea says:

    Damn girl, those knees are ashier than a 3 alarm fire. She must be taking blow job tips from Paris.

  11. dizzylucy says:

    Dead behind the eyes.

  12. Shannon says:

    Was that smoky eye really necessary? This girl is annoying as fuck but looks better without the two shiners.

  13. ewesocrazy says:

    Lights on. Nobody home.

  14. jill hives says:

    have we discussed the horrible lana del taco nail trend? or maybe it was adele who brought them back? anyway, i fucking hate it. cannot wait for spiral perms & shoulder pads to be “fashion forward.”

  15. parissucksliterally says:

    SO much better!

  16. katerbug72 says:

    Cindy Lou Who is trying too hard.

  17. parissucksliterally says:

    Paris looks like shit. If she’d wear her hair in a chin bob, she’d look so much better.

    • Voosey says:

      Agreed – I’ve got long ass hair and at the age of 30 I’m really pushing it. I’m getting it chopped after I get hitched to Mr. Voosey in the winter. Time to start looking like a soccer mom.

      • Callie says:

        I think shoulder length or chin length hair can be sexier than long hair. I’m thinking 80’s supermodels.

        • parissucksliterally says:

          My hair is shoulder length now, but varies between chin and shoulder length. I won’t go longer. Paris did have her hair in a bob, it looked great on her. And this is coming from ME! haha

          • Callie says:

            I find my hair is usually a lot healthier and I can do more with it when it’s shoulder length. Plus nothing ages a lot of women more than long thin hair they think makes them look 21 at 40.

          • parissucksliterally says:

            I agree. Look at all the Real Housewives. That is what I think of when I see women over 40 w long, long hair. Though I have to say, some DO pull it off.

          • Callie says:

            Yeah, some but I see a lot of older women who don’t. Demi Moore pulls it off I think as does Kyle but they can afford the best colorists, etc. The normal women I see would usually look so much younger, better with even a few inches below the shoulders. One woman I worked with had it half way down her back. She has a really pretty face and once she cut it to a few inches an below shoulder length and got highlights she looked 10 years younger.

          • GardeningGirl says:

            My hair is pit length. My husband wants me to let it grow longer. I told him, “Dude, I’m not 17 anymore”.

        • undinespragg says:

          I just got my hair bobbed and the first thing my kid said to me was, “You know, you can always get hair extensions.”

          She is 9YO and thinks the only option for pretty hair is long hair.

    • Callie says:

      Didn’t she used to have her hair like that? Or am I imagining she was once attractive and semi-tasteful?

    • Zorba says:

      Paris is vile. She’s like a cross between a Vegas whore and an afghan hound, no offense to the hound.

    • Richbitch says:

      If she wore her hair brushed forward over her face she’d look so much better.

  18. undinespragg says:

    She’s still weird looking. I think they should’ve cast her instead of Dakota Fanning in The Runaways. She looks more like Cherie Currie IMO. Maybe she would’ve actually cut her hair instead of using that awful wig.

    • Ecce Homo says:

      That’s…interesting. I’m not even really sure who this girl is (singer, actress, neither?) but she does have the right kind of face.
      (BTW, I’m probably the only person in the world who feels this way, but I LOVED The Runaways and I think Kristen was terrific as Joan Jett!)

  19. LaChaylo says:

    After all the Miley Hoshit Cyrus coverage, Taylor is actually not that bad. She did the same tired thing Miley did by going all skanky, but didn’t get as much attention. Let’s keep it that way, Taylor.

  20. Zorba says:

    How old is this girl? She looks like a Russian mail order bride, someone who already has a ten year old kid. I guess with her features she should be attractive, but something’s just off with this girl.

  21. coco ebert says:

    She’s giving me Debbie Harry here.

  22. katerbug72 says:

    Between her and Paris they have one set of normal eyes.

  23. Voosey says:

    Some bitches just can’t get it right. She’s got lots to work with but if she wants to piss it away with bad choices….that’s her business.

  24. gines says:

    The second picture is strange.
    A sad panda smiling? What kind of contradiction is that?

  25. saltydog says:

    I kinda feel for this one, clearly her parents forced her into it and she didn’t want it for herself. That being said she was pretty dang good on the first season or 2 of Gossip Girl before she clearly wanted out of her contract.

    And I still kinda dig this song:


    She’s got a voice people like Miley and Avril wish they had.

  26. iloveloureed says:

    She’s as harmless as Enya to me. Never believed the rebel behind all that eye make-up. Next!

  27. SANS_FARDS says:

    Still has too much eye makeup on, but baby steps!

  28. WintahOwl says:

    Much better than hearing about Miley!

  29. undinespragg says:

    I feel like she’s auditioning to be in a Robert Palmer video.

  30. Bukini Rain says:

    If Madonna and Shelly Duvall had a child

  31. JessicaGiovanna says:

    Jack Skellington? Dat u?

  32. johnnysgrrrl says:


    eee-heeeee, oh honey, you’re gonna dislocate something posing that hard!

    Also, I see how hard you worked on your face, but damn – don’t forget to moisturizer your thirsty legs. Ashy knees on a white girl SMDH

  33. WithinReason... says:

    I think I prefer the death glare raccoon to the not-at-all-jaded new Momsen. But only because the eye shadow makes her sclera pop.

    ” She still looks like she’s full of rainbows and kitten kisses and lives a life full of sunshiney happiness.” – 😀

    • HollyGlowBrightly says:

      Hey Withy! Hope you’ve been well, girl. 🙂 I still can’t help but see her as Cindy Lou Who but I have to agree with you.

      • WithinReason... says:

        Hi Holly, you too! It’s true, she looked very sweet back then.

        • HollyGlowBrightly says:

          I wonder sometimes if all the angst doesn’t stem from being exposed to Hollywood so young- there have been some scary blinds where she was the top guess (a la Bynes). Hope CindyLou is fairing better these days. 🙂 Big hugs, Withy!

    • Milatchnikova says:

      I feel you cannot affect the death glare. The death glare is or is not. Although oddly, I get more of a death glare vibe sans the raccoon eyes. But it’s a put on. The death glare is innate and natural. (What the hell am I doing waxing philosophical about death glares)?

  34. GardeningGirl says:

    What the hell? I guess the “music” thing wasn’t working out. Well at least she doesn’t look like she’s going to mug me for heroin money!

  35. Zingara says:

    So she’s tired of panhandling and waiting in line for government cheese now? Meh.

  36. Texndoc says:

    She reminds me of early Carol Kane, minus 100% of the talent.

    Or she’s now on the Olsen bandwagon.

  37. MadamPince says:

    Taylor Momsen & Kelly Rutherford: two pieces of work.

  38. User945tz says:

    What a lukewarm mess.

  39. Milatchnikova says:

    Ah, I love when Michael K revisits past glories like this trick. By the way, you fiends, I’ve been stalking all of your crazy comments for at least 5 years…I think I used ItGirlsRagDolls as my name along with a picture of Thom Yorke before the site change. Though I rarely spoke. I love you allllll…you have brought me endless amounts of snickering.

    • riannabanana says:

      Ra-hude! Who voted you down???!! Like you I was a stalker not a poster for ages as well!

      • Milatchnikova says:

        Doesn’t matter, really. I was trying to express the fact that not only has Michael K always been hilarious, but that the comments are also a huge draw. I don’t dick around on the internet all that much, but I’ve loved Dlisted long time. It’s really the only web site I look at daily. I had a dubious Reddit circle jerk period last year, but I realized it is a black hole and I have other shit I need to be doing. But thankee for the support, riannabanana.

    • Bizzarelife says:

      Well, hell, what were you waiting for? We missed you.

  40. Hotmami says:

    I like her band actually. Not ashamed to say it.

    • Callie says:

      Me too. And if I was still a morose black wearing teen, I’d probably love them even more and try to dress like she used to (unfortunately).

  41. Dirk Diggler says:

    Her hair is so thin you can clearly see where her (cheap) extensions attach on the sides. Still, she’s kind of pretty without all that soot around her eyes.

  42. saltydog says:

    Is it just make-up or is her nose a lot more narrow now than in the raccoon eyes pic? It’s her face she can do what she wants with it but, your nose are ears are the only things that keep growing your whole life and….


    • Callie says:

      I think the raccoon eyes pic looks like a first nose job (the bridge of the nose is too perfectly straight) and now it looks like she’s had a second one.

      • Zanza says:

        Not just the bridge .. her “before” nose had a bulbous tip. 1st nose job was perfect. Now it’s way too thin. Why did she go back for more?

  43. riannabanana says:

    Yes she does look very Russian Bride Doll-esque in these photos. It could possibly be the makeup.

  44. salacious says:

    We hadn’t heard of this girl in a while but it’s just refreshing to see that she hasn’t lost any of her natural smugness. It’s also good that she didn’t turn into a total skank, and dropping the “ooh I’m so badass” act. She’s still taking herself too seriously, though.

  45. H321 says:

    My emphysema having 30 years a smoker bitter cold bitch Polis neighbor has more life in her eyes than this one.

  46. Sara112x says:

    How did you recognize her?

  47. mr_f says:

    Girl better get some moisturizer for those knees. I didn’t know a white person could look so ashy.

  48. princesspoppy says:

    I’m not sure the 70s wanna-be porn star make up is much better.

  49. thechickformerlyknownas says:

    I hate this little twat.

  50. RainbowBoobs says:

    She looks a little bit like Amanda Seyfried.

  51. Crazy Slutty Chola Princess says:

    WOW her left eye is fcking WONKY! LOL
    She looks like she thinks she’s the shit!

  52. Crazy Slutty Chola Princess says:

    What’s with those ASHY ass knees? Knee pads Bitch!

  53. TheBreakdown says:

    She’s a gorgeous girl. I don’t know why she tries to look like she just crawled out of a ditch all the time. And she has an amazing voice. Her band is solid and she is more worthy of musical fame than approximately 90% of these poptrix on your radio today.

    That is all.


    VerbalSlap DOT com

    “The main ones screaming about their halo are usually the first ones to use it as a cockring.” (Heaux Confessionals©, verbal slap #153)


  54. fashionputtana says:

    It’s goodbye raccoon face and hellooo cuntface!

  55. Zanza says:

    She looks like Christina Applegate here. Very pretty, love her cheekbones. She does have cuntface though. Her singing and her band are amazing.

  56. Lina says:

    Rich, high cheeks, etcetc? Yay? Secret to success in life, girls.

  57. sonne_dk says:

    She looks dead inside (her eyes) and I’m hoping it’s just a bad set of photos. She looks more alive in the raccoon pic.

  58. Djibuddha says:

    You have to earn the bitchface before you wear it in public. You may bring it back after you win an Oscar, Taylor. (NOT an Emmy).

  59. Lucifer says:

    It can only be a good thing I keep forgetting she exists.

  60. letinstar says:

    Jesus! Is this a real housewife of Long Island?

  61. Who Datt says:

    See what happens when you hit 18 and realize that being outrageous and edgy doesn’t mean shit if no one is watching/listening?

    Smart move. While other ex child stars whore it up, she’s toning it down and keeping it “classy”.

  62. Sasha Liles says:

    Her make-up still looks like shit, but she’s a pretty girl.

  63. Suzy Farkis says:

    She really doesn’t ‘get’ makeup, does she? Kind of looks like she’s had a couple of nose jobs, the older pick looks a bit Jackson-esque in the nostrils.

  64. Hekki says:

    Maybe it’s just my current obsession with her (just picked up Jean Nathan’s biography at the library yesterday!), but I’m getting Dare Wright vibes…

  65. putsomestankonit says:

    She looked happier as an emo panda.

  66. oogieboogiewoman says:

    Now blot your lipstick a few times, or better yet get a new shade, and you’ll be well on your way to looking mature and pretty.

  67. ben_affleck69 says:

    where are you christmas?

  68. The Machine says:

    She still needs to find a different makeup scheme. Girl has amazingly gorgeous eyes and she fucks it all up with early 90’s shadow and 80s lipstick.
    And find some tweezers!

  69. Ashley Bilmes says:

    She looks so much better! Beautiful! And very mature

  70. sweetas says:

    Obvious extensions are obvious. Still, she looks much much better…pretty even!

  71. tinyhands says:

    Wow! She looks SO much better. I would kill for those eyebrows for sure. She is a very pretty young lady. She looks like beetlejuice in the before picture. I hope she stays with this look! Best makeover of 2013 thus far.

  72. billybologna says:

    Feel free to rip on me but I freaking love her band and her voice. I listened to it as a joke and ended up loving them. She seems like an insufferable brat but she is gorgeous. Although this is an improvement she still looks like shit compared to what she’s capable of looking like. I fucking hate beautiful people who make themselves look like hell.

    • The Machine says:

      I’ve only heard the song she did for Kick Ass, but loved her voice. Her constantly trying to slash her bits before she turned 18 got old and pathetic.
      Look I’m so edgy!
      No, you’re dressed like a whore who owns makeup.

      • billybologna says:

        Totally agree. I think if she didn’t make herself look like such a dumbass her band would’ve done much better.

        • The Machine says:

          I think it was just an Angelina Jolie rebellious phase where she’s gorgeous as shit, but wants to look like death warmed over.
          Looks like both of them overcame that fuckery.

          • billybologna says:

            I hope so because otherwise what a damn waste. I wish I was one tenth that hot. (puts down the double stuff oreos)

    • WintahOwl says:

      I heard one of the songs and liked it. I’d rather hear her than Miley (and many other artists infecting my ears) any day!

  73. Vernicious says:

    She hast the potential for some Carole Lombard face, but, she needs a make up artist stat.

    *forgive me Carole*

  74. tinyhands says:

    ick @ Paris Hilton. I can’t be the only one so tired and bored of her. she’s not just yesterdays news…she is last decades news. Thought she would have found something worthwhile to do with her life rather than snort coke and show up at events. She looks really old standing next to Momsen. How tragic.

  75. GarrettG says:

    She looks different without that raccoon look going on.

  76. irreverence says:

    She looks much better with more subtle makeup, but that doesn’t remove the incredible creepiness from her eyes.

  77. Bukini Rain says:

    I always love that “bitchy sales woman #2” look

  78. TonicB says:

    Really? She must actually practice and have gotten better. The couple of songs I listened to after her music “breakout” were awful.

  79. BitchyD says:

    She looks pretty without that ridiculous raccoon makeup.

  80. babyjanehudson says:

    Wow. She’s so pretty. Who knew?

  81. htm222 says:

    She looks stoned and starving. Like an Olsen twin.

  82. CH1EF_QUEEF says:

    I don’t care what makeup she wears, this chick’s face always gives me the heebie-jeebies. Her forehead is too low and her features are too big for her head, like an alien face awkwardly stretched over a human skull. And what’s with the ashy knees?

  83. Cricket17 says:

    Wow I never noticed that she was actually very pretty before

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