Apple Martin almost became apple sauce last Wednesday when she was riding in the back of Goopy Paltrow’s Vespa and her mom nearly ran into a school bus in L.A.. A quick second later, her partner in assholery Chris Martin drove by with the other Martin kid on the back of his Vespa. Ugh. This is disgusting, ridiculous, dangerous, stupid and illegal. I mean, how could that peasant of a school bus get in Goopy Paltrow’s royal path?! Doesn’t that school bus know that it should always be behind her royal highness Goopy? The audacity of that school bus for not knowing its place!
When Goopy was driving by, that school bus driver should’ve backed up, parked, jumped out of the bus and threw white rose petals in front of her. What if that school bus scraped off some of the paint on her opulent chariot? 500 diamonds were melted down to make the paint on Goopy’s Vespa. The paint job on Goopy’s Vespa costs more than five thousand of those homely school buses!
That school bus obviously needs to be put down and ripped apart so this never happens to Goopy Paltrow again. Actually, just put down all the school buses and let those children of the regulars walk!
via The Daily Mail